You are present & emotionally available, Mama. Stay on track.
Where you are now feels as “balanced” as it can (and I use that term lightly!).
You’ve got your feet pretty solidly planted in the role of mother and you’re feeling the ebb and flow of the struggle and joy that is all of this experience. You are emotionally available to your children, and your partner, as much as you need to be for secure and healthy relationships to thrive.
I imagine you feel aligned with your values and while you might enjoy a good IG scroll, you know how to protect yourself from the toxicity that it can bring.
Self-care is important to you and you make it a priority as often as you can. While at times you feel the weight of all you juggle, you also know that it is normal to struggle at times, so self-compassion is something you practice. You’ve got friends and for the most part, find times to connect with them. Your relationship brings you joy most of the time although maybe there is some room to strengthen that as you realize it has changed since becoming a Mama.
You have a few moments of feeling tapped out and touched out occasionally, but who doesn’t?! While mothering is feeling pretty sustainable and joyous most of the time these days, it is about maintaining these feelings and keeping the balance of self and mothering a priority.
You are always evolving as a mother, with each milestone your child hits, your relationship with them changes too, therefore, you shift in your role and identity too. So while today might feel like you’ve caught your groove, you are aware that this can change tomorrow and desire to feel more confident in each new step.
For your own reference, let’s define emotional availability.
Being emotionally available refers to a person's ability to connect and engage with others on an emotional level. It means that they are open and receptive to experiencing and expressing their own emotions, as well as being empathetic and understanding of others' emotions.
It relates to how you show up for your kids, your partner and yourself.
Key aspects of emotional availability:
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Emotionally available individuals have a good understanding of their own emotions. They are in touch with their feelings, can identify and acknowledge them, and are comfortable expressing them when appropriate.
Chances are, Mama, that you are really disconnected from yourself these days. You might be feeling numb, completely overwhelmed and hopeless as a baseline, which means it’s time to invest in reconnecting with yourself so you can begin to grow your own understanding of your experience.
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Emotionally available people are able to effectively communicate their emotions to others. This involves expressing their needs, desires, and concerns openly and honestly, while also actively listening and validating the emotions of others.
When you are this low and tapped out, Mama, you probably don’t always have the words to use to describe your needs, wants and struggles. It’s time to take steps to better understand and talk about your needs.
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Emotionally available people are empathetic and compassionate. They can put themselves in others' shoes, understanding and sharing their feelings. They offer support and understanding when someone else is going through a challenging time.
This might be you, Mama, just not so recently. You find yourself snapping, raging and rolling your eyes at the littlest things. You simply have NO space for any empathy towards others or yourself. maybe it is time to practice self-compassion to rebuild your capacity for empathy.
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Being emotionally available requires a willingness to be vulnerable. It means being open and transparent about one's thoughts and feelings, even if it feels uncomfortable or exposes them to potential emotional risks.
This is a BIG one, Mama and chances are you dont feel comfortable being vulnerable when you are feeling this burned out.
We often think of asking for help as a sign of failure or weakness, so instead, power through (which has led to this space you’re in).
It’s time to unpack WHY asking for help is so hard, who you can ask for help and start having some honest and real conversations with your partner, friends and most importantly, yourself.
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While emotionally available individuals are open to connecting with others emotionally, they also have healthy emotional boundaries.
They can maintain a sense of self and separate their emotions from others', ensuring they don't become overwhelmed or enmeshed in someone else's emotional state.
Mama, you have probably tried SO hard to be so emotionally available to your children that you have taken all of their emotions on, held space for them, so much so, that you have forgotten all about yourself.
You probably don’t practice much self compassion so when those mom rage moments happen, the guilt is huge.
It’s time to increase the self-compassion, allow yourself space to mess up and give yourself the space to process the challenges that come with mothering.
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Emotional availability is not just about occasional moments of openness; it also involves consistency in emotional engagement.
Emotionally available individuals are consistently receptive to emotional connections and make an effort to maintain them over time.
Here are some things you can try to keep growing that confidence
and continue connecting with yourself:
Write down all your values, for you personally, as a mama and as a family.
Narrow it down to about 3-5 in each area and start talking about them on a daily. Begin asking yourself “Is the decision to … in alignment with the life I want to live or the life I am currently living? Does it align with my values?”
If so, do it! If not, get curious about what values underpin the decision and if it’s a good one for you to make.
Keep the positive mo-jo going by practising gratitude every day.
Get specific about the small details. Write down 3 things every night that you are grateful for or share them out loud at dinner. The more we focus on the good, the more our brain will begin to look for it!
Strengthen your intuition.
Sit in silence and either journal or just “be”. See what comes to you. Maybe even pose a question to yourself and feel into the answer. The biggest takeaway here: turn off the white noise; limit distractions and spend time solo.
Join the Becoming Mama program.
Meet a village of like-minded mamas sharing a similar experience in motherhood as yourself! Since you are already pretty connected to yourself and juggling the many hats you do, this program is just an added layer of self-understanding that builds self-compassion, and confidence and helps to mitigate the guilt and overwhelm that pops up occasionally.
No matter what, just remember that once you become a mama you are always “becoming”. If you ever feel like it gets a bit harder again, know it’s a wave and you’ll come back around again soon. (And as always, reach out for support from a licensed mental health therapist or your doctor if needed right away. No shame in needing some TLC along the journey!)
Quiz Disclaimer
The information provided on this page is for educational purposes only. The information and suggestions provided in this quiz and the results given are general in nature and should not be used as or substituted for professional medical or clinical advice. I do not accept responsibility for determining whether Mama’s Modern Villages products or services are appropriate for you and your health and wellbeing.